


Back to Life

by dancefantasy



Category: The Simpsons, Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Christmas, Consensual Kissing, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Crime, Developing Relationship, Disapproving Family, Dubious Ethics, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, Girl Saves Boy, Gun Violence, Impulsive Decisions, Jonah is mentioned, Kind of cheating, Language, Love Confessions, Meet the Family, Mild Blood, Not Canon Compliant, Relationship Issues, Second Chances, Sideshow Bob in a bathrobe, Threats of Violence, Time Skips, tattoo admiration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancefantasy/pseuds/dancefantasy
Summary: When Snake Jailbird first meets Lara Croft, she's an annoying enigma he's happy to see leave. But when she offers him a chance at a better life, they both realize that their relationship is more than either could have initially thought. Can they make it through difficult situations to create a brighter future for one another?
Relationships: Lara Croft/Snake Jailbird
Kudos: 2





	1. It Started With a Cookie

**Author's Note:**

> This story started because my little sister told me that Snake Jailbird used to be an archaeologist, and that immediately made us come up with the idea. Thus, this is my gift to you, sister.  
> This takes place about two years after Tomb Raider (2013), and some of the events of the comics have happened but Rise of the Tomb Raider has not. Some things regarding Simpsons/Tomb Raider canon are ignored (like Roth is still alive).

Snake Jailbird walked into the convenience store with one thing on his mind: robbing it. He had a gun under his clothes and a money bag in his pocket. It would be a quick and easy job, and there was little possibility it could go wrong. The store was nearly empty, after all. Who would try to stop him?

The muscular man quietly stalked around the shelves before he would make his way up to the counter. What item would he be pretending to buy today? A package of cookies caught his eye. A perfect treat to enjoy alongside the pile of money in his near future.

"Do you mind?" Snake asked a bit impatiently, reaching past a woman who had been staring at the snacks intently for a little while.

"Oh, sorry!" she apologized, stepping back to let him take what he wanted. "It's just hard to know what to choose. Are those good?"

Snake looked at the cookies in his hand, surprised that anyone would strike up casual conversation with his rough-looking self. "Totally. They're soft and chewy." He looked back at her, squinting slightly. "You're, like, not from here, are you?" He realized she had been speaking in a British accent.

"No, I'm not," she said, laughing slightly. "Just traveling."

Snake's mind began to wander to distant memories. "I used to do that a lot. I was an archaeologist, you know."

Her hazel eyes widened with delight. "You're joking! I'm an archaeologist too."

Snake shook his head proudly, hands on his hips. Not like it was anything to be proud of now that he stole for a living.

"Maybe you'd like to join our expedition, then? We could use someone who knows their way around the area," she offered.

And the offer was quite tempting. He always maintained his love for discovering ancient artifacts and would of course want to relive those adventures. It was especially tempting coming from someone like the woman before him. Not because she was pretty or had a nice accent, but because she hadn’t judged him by his thuggish appearance as most people tended to do. To run away and join her could be wonderful...

Snake felt dangerously soft like the cookies he was holding. But he had to be a tough cookie. He was there for a reason. “Thanks, but I have other plans.”

She smiled in understanding. “Well, if you change your mind, we’ll be here for a while. Just ask around. I’m Lara, Lara Croft.”

He introduced himself in return, then wondered if he shouldn’t have. "Anyway, enjoy the cookie," he said to quickly end the conversation, slinking past her to get to the register.

Snake waited in line for a minute so he could get closer to the cashier. He felt awkward when this Lara lady got in line behind him, knowing any good impression he had just made was about to fly out the window. But people needed money to survive, not positive impressions from British brunettes.

“Just that?” the cashier asked Snake boredly as he stepped up to the counter and placed the cookies on top.

“No,” Snake said. “This too.” He pulled out his handgun and pointed it at the other man’s chest. “Give me all your money,” he demanded. “Be quiet, and don’t try anything funny,” he added when the cashier seemed to reach for an alarm button.

He didn’t even look scared, just tired of the crazy things that always happened in town. He sighed, opened the register, and slowly began putting it in the bag Snake had thrown at him. 

“Come on, dude. I haven’t got all day-- Ow!” Snake yelped in pain as his arm and wrist were suddenly twisted. Before he even realized what was happening, he heard the sound of his gun clattering on the floor. “What’s going on here, man?” He turned his head to see Lara pinning his arms behind his back.

"What the hell are you doing, Snake?" she demanded, sounding a bit frustrated.

"Don't say that like you know me, lady," Snake groaned. “I need this money!”

The cashier took his chance to push the alarm button. “Can you just go wait for the police to arrest you so I can ring up the next customer?” he asked dryly.

"Dude, I can't go to jail! I just got out!" Snake protested, struggling against Lara's grip. But she had extremely strong arms.

"You're right about me, Snake; I don't know you. But I still believe you're better than this. We all need second chances in life, right?" Lara shook her head in disbelief of the insane decision she was about to make. "Look, I'll get you away from the police if you promise to stop committing crimes."

Snake squirmed harder, desperate to reach the bag of money and run. "No thanks! Besides, that just makes you an accomplice. You'll be wanted too."

She raised her eyebrows challengingly. "The difference is I actually know how to avoid capture."

"You're a strange woman," Snake responded, so caught off guard by her confident but careless choices that he didn't fight back when she picked up the gun on the floor and pushed him towards the back door with it.

Lara took some money out of her pocket and tossed it on the counter among all the bills that were spilling from the money bag. "For the cookies," she told the cashier, pocketing the small item before she exited with Snake. 

The worker left behind had no idea how he was going to explain this one to the police once they arrived...

Lara immediately tucked the gun away safely in her jacket once they were outside, allowing her thieving acquaintance to follow her of his own volition. If she was really dumb enough to do that, Snake figured he'd stick around to find out what she thought she was doing. It's not like he could do anything else without his pistol.

She wound through the alleys with surprising knowledge for someone who wasn't from the area. The authorities would definitely have a hard time tracking them down if they even bothered to look. Eventually Lara stopped around the corner of a small parking garage, looking at him as if waiting for him to speak first. He gave in, if only so she would stop staring at him like that.

“You’re risking a lot to help some random thug--although it’d be more helpful to let me take my money and run… Why?”

She shook her head in agreement that she was pretty crazy at that moment. “Sometimes you have to follow your instincts,” she began to explain, “and I just felt that this was better somehow than turning you in.”

Snake rolled his eyes. “I’m going to do it again. I need that cash.”

“I thought giving you another chance might change your mind. After all, I know you can't truly be a bad person. No evil archaeologist ends up resorting to robbing petrol stations. They get on top by selling artifacts or exploiting others, and they don't stop until they fall hard. So I know that at least you aren't selfish, otherwise you wouldn't have been doing this. Take it from one historian to another."

“Hah. I’m not an archaeologist anymore.” There was a hint of melancholy in his voice.

“Do any ever really stop?” Lara questioned. That was too deep for Snake to think about, so he tried to get the conversation back on track.

"Look, I can’t make promises," he said. "I'm too unpredictable." That wasn't completely true; he was usually pretty predictable. But he wasn't about to give up his entire lifestyle just to please some woman he just met. However, telling her a straight "no" would surely end up with his face on the concrete and a call to the police station.

“Can I trust you to try? We all know there's always an honest way to do things."

Snake didn't look too sure, but Lara offered him his gun back in a huge show of trust. He may have been a dishonest man, but he still didn’t feel right breaking such trust. He would play nice, for now. “Stupid tourist,” he mumbled, taking the gun and shoving it in his waistband. “You’re going to regret being so naive one day.”

Lara shrugged. “I have a lot of regrets to weigh me down. What’s one more?”

The criminal snorted a disbelieving laugh in reply. “Your problem, not min--” He looked down sharply at his stomach in surprise when a sudden gurgle cut him off. “Man, I wish I’d at least nabbed those cookies on the way out.” Hunger was gnawing at him from the inside.

Lara heard a crinkle of foil as she moved, causing her to remember that she had still paid for her own dessert back at the store. She took the cookies out of her pocket, which made Snake’s eyes widen with hunger. Seeing this, she was tempted to goad him by saying he should have just actually bought them, then. But the compassionate side of the explorer's heart was stronger than its sassy one, so she opened up the package and offered one to him.

“Are you serious?” Snake asked.

“There are two,” Lara pointed out.

That was far from a solid reason, but he was happy to accept nonetheless, of course. ‘This chick is nuts,’ he thought to himself more and more with everything she did. ‘Europeans must just be like that.’

Lara quickly excused herself after he grabbed the cookie, obviously having more important things to do than hang around a parking garage with a wanted criminal. But she looked over her shoulder one more time before crossing the street. “Have some faith in yourself, Snake Jailbird.”

“Let me be, Lara Croft,” Snake muttered to himself as she walked away. He wasn’t sure what he hated more, that she remembered his name or that he remembered hers. Lara had left him penniless and wanted to change who he was. And he let her have her way for those few minutes for what reason? Because she seemed charming? Because she maybe had a point? Or just because it felt good to connect with someone for once in his life? But sure, you get a spark of a bond in one minute, and in the next she's ruining your plans.

Snake was rightly upset to have had his goals for the day literally ripped from his hands. Still, he’d stay out of trouble for the day, let things cool down. But eventually he'd disappoint her by robbing some other store. Hopefully she just wouldn't be around to see it.

The cookie tasted sweeter than normal. At least one good thing had happened that day.

The rest of the day was uneventful for both of them. Snake wandered around town before taking a long nap, while Lara met back up with the archaeology crew to finish some final preparations before heading to the nearby dig site in two days. She tried to keep her mind off of what she had just done, because she really shouldn’t have tried to take the law into her own hands like that, especially in a country she wasn’t from. But Lara had seen what happened when archaeologists turned bad, and they were never like Snake. They wouldn’t have helped her choose what snack to buy. Wouldn’t anyone rethink things if they were given another chance? Maybe she was too idealistic.

Lara took a long walk the next day in hopes of clearing her head before starting their delicate work tomorrow. It was bad to be distracted when working with the unknown, of course. She would hate to be responsible for destroying ancient artifacts because she was worried about something else.

Life wasn’t always as simple as hoped to be, however. This was quickly discovered when Lara heard a sudden shout nearby accompanied by what could have been a gunshot. “What is wrong with America?” she murmured in disbelief, chasing after the source regardless of how dangerous that was. But saving people was important to her, and so was being a snoop.

Running into a parking lot, her heart started pounding faster as she saw the flash of a familiar jean vest. She really had heard a gunshot, hadn't she? "Oh god, I've really messed up this time," Lara said to herself, knowing it had to have been Snake Jailbird, up to no good again. She had to rectify this. He had seemed to duck behind a short concrete wall, and she followed suit.

He jumped in fear at the sudden person crouching beside him, but that fear quickly turned into annoyance. “You again?! Get out of here!”

“Snake, you’ve got to stop doing this. Give me the gun,” Lara asked. She wasn’t going to be afraid to take it from him again if she had to, though.

Snake gripped his pistol tighter. “You have to get out of here. It’s not safe.”

“We’ll all be safe if you just give me the gun!”

“I’ll DIE if I don’t have this gun; you don’t understand!”

Another loud shot echoed through the lot, small pieces of concrete flying over their heads. “Come out and face us, Snake!” someone shouted somewhere behind them. 

Lara looked at Snake in utter shock, realizing he wasn’t the one who had been firing rounds. “What is going on??” she asked, ducking down lower to avoid potential injury.

Snake rolled his eyes. “There are rivals who would like me gone. They’re jealous of how fast I get out of jail every time I’m arrested.”

“Well, that’s insane."

" _Well_ , welcome to my reality! I've had a monopoly on local stick-em-ups for years, and other guys wanna take my spot. And there’s no way I’m making it out of here if I don’t have a chance to fight back!”

“Just call the police!”

“You seem to forget that I’m probably WANTED RIGHT NOW!” Snake hissed. “And you seemed to be against that sort of thing yesterday.”

“...Right, then.” If he was telling the truth, Lara knew they had to think fast. She risked a quick glance over the top of the wall to see what they were dealing with. Two thugs stood on top of a nearby one-story building, weapons in their hands, ready to fire at the sight of their target. She knew they wouldn’t wait forever. Eventually they’d come down, and she and Snake would have to run out in the open. That would be too dangerous. There was only one other option. “Give me your gun, Snake.”

“Dude, we’re not doing this again! I already told you-- Hey!” Lara didn’t have time to argue, so she went ahead and yanked it from his hands. Snake sighed in defeat. “Just put me out of my misery at this point.”

But Lara had no intentions of shooting the fellow. She had to pop out from their cover to face the threat and shoot first. And if she didn't? Better hope they were bad shots from such a distance... At least she had experience with that sort of thing.

She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but figured she didn’t have much of a choice. At the least, she wouldn’t try to kill them. Lara didn’t have much time to carefully aim, but it would be for an arm or a leg. “Wish me luck,” she asked Snake, taking a moment to steady her breath before making her move.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” he sputtered as she began to stand.

Lara didn’t even listen, concentrating carefully. She rose swiftly, saw that Snake’s enemies thankfully hadn’t moved, and quickly lined up her shot. She fired immediately and fell back behind the wall almost just as fast to prevent being murdered. A shout of pain a second later confirmed she had hit her target. “We have to go. Now!” She pushed herself back onto her feet and began running out of the lot, Snake following her closely. They didn’t look behind them once, just trusting the sound of yelling getting more distant as they ran.

“Okay, can we stop now?” Snake gasped for breath after they had made some decent ground, stopping behind a large tree in a residential area.

Lara still seemed on edge, but nodded in agreement. She glanced around to make sure they hadn’t been followed, but something else caught her eye. “You’re bleeding!” Lara grabbed Snake’s right arm to look at it closely. There was a small cut across the skin, red staining his shirtsleeve. 

Snake ripped his arm away from her with a pout on his face. “Yeah, you should have showed up a minute earlier, huh?" He grimaced at the memory of the bullet ricocheting over his arm, but was at least grateful it hadn't messed up his tattoo. "It really hurts… Oh, what if it has to be amputated??” He wanted pity, but Lara quickly lost her concern.

“Oh, come on,” she scoffed. “I’ve lived through worse.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Snake should have known better than to doubt Lara by that point, but he still didn’t believe her. She may have been reckless, but she was clearly a buff intellectual. Nothing had harmed her in all the drama so far.

“I’d tell you everything if you had a whole evening to listen,” Lara said. She pointed to a mark on her right cheek. “Let’s just say this scar is one of many.”

Snake looked at her curiously. His impression of her had sure changed since he first met her as an archaeologist buying sweets. There was a part of him that wanted to stick around and learn more, but he couldn’t get attached to someone who had started the downfall of his career. “I’m the one actively bleeding, so I think I’m going to go now.” He turned to start leaving, but Lara’s voice made him stay.

“Is it safe for you?”

“Bad guys like us only chase each other when it’s convenient. One I lie low, it will be like it never even happened.”

“And then you go back to robbing stores?”

Snake frowned at the disappointment in her voice. “Look, Lara, this is my whole thing. It's who I am. I can't just change that."

"But you can!" She put a hand on his shoulder. "You can make the choice, you can make the effort. Come on, does it feel good to live this life? Are you proud of the things you've done?"

“In the moment,” Snake answered quietly, struggling to find anything that would prove her completely wrong. Of course he’d rather be a respectable and honest man like he was in the past, but once you fall in a pit of wrongdoing, it’s hard to get out.

Lara let her hand fall. “A lot of people only do things for the moment. Maybe it’s better to do things for a brighter future.” She reached in her jacket to give him back his gun one more time. “I can’t make these decisions for you. Just know that I wouldn’t bother trying so hard if I didn’t think there was something good in you.”

He looked at the weapon hopelessly. Snake didn’t like listening to other people, but there was something very convincing about Lara and how she saw through his tough facade. And she had probably saved his life, so he felt like he owed it to her to try to change. “What can I do?”

She smiled optimistically. “My earlier offer still stands. We could always use another archaeologist on the team."

“Hey, that was years ago.”

“Then come with us and brush up on everything.” Snake still didn’t look sure, so she dug in her pocket for a scrap of paper and a pen. Lara continued while she wrote an address down, “You don’t have to decide right away. We’re heading to the site tomorrow. Just come if you feel like it. Ask for me, Lara--”

“Croft,” Snake finished, accepting the travel instructions from her.

“You remembered,” Lara said, looking a bit flattered. “Well, _Snake Jailbird_ , I hope to see you there.” Her cell phone suddenly rang, and she realized she had to excuse herself. She had certainly been gone longer than she had expected. “I’ve got to go now. Take care of yourself. Make sure you clean that wound!”

Snake put a hand over it, having already forgotten it was there while talking to his new friend. It didn’t hurt as much anymore.

Lara didn't fall asleep easily that night. Maybe it was the adrenaline rush from the near-death experience. Maybe it was because she was thinking about what Snake would choose to do. It would be too bad if she never got to at least give him a proper goodbye, after all.

Even if he didn't show up, she hoped he would still work towards something better. But helping Snake didn't feel quite like a humanitarian goal in that way, but rather a personal desire. After all, he owed her for preventing his demise. But even more importantly, in all that had happened the two times they met, it seemed like they could be friends if there wasn't the division of ethics between them. Lara knew she wasn’t always the best judge of character, but she liked Snake. She believed he could be good again.

The crew woke up early to travel to the location of the supposed ancient relics, Lara’s weariness from lack of sleep fading fast at the exciting prospects ahead of them. It took a few more hours to prepare the site. For a while, Lara kept her eyes peeled for any sign of a man with tall brown hair and a large green tattoo showing up. As it seemed more futile and she required more concentration, she stopped. Who would drop everything for a stranger, anyway?

“We’re all set to go. Let’s head in,” the head of the team said, gesturing towards the cave they were going to try to open up.

Lara followed them, ready to dig her hands into some history. Her mind was preoccupied with what was before them, which made her jump in surprise when a hand suddenly touched her shoulder. She spun around, ready to knock someone’s block off if she had to. She wasn’t met with a threat, however, but a smile.

“Uh, hey.” The man awkwardly waved. “Am I still invited?”

“Snake! Of course.” Lara smiled back. She almost felt like she should hug him, but that would be far too strange and uncomfortable. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“Lara, who is this?” someone asked.

“I’m Lara’s friend,” Snake introduced himself. “I’m joining the expedition.”

“Hold on… We can’t just let anyone in here. This is serious work. One wrong move, and everything is over. You have to be trained for this sort of thing.”

Snake seemed annoyed that they doubted him. “I’m an archaeologist, bro! Sorry I didn’t bring my resume; I didn’t know I had to prove myself,” he said sarcastically. “Little Miss Croft requested I join your little hoedown here, so take it up with her, not me.”

Everyone looked at Lara strangely, surprised that she would know some random burly American who looked more likely to have secretly stolen their wallets than to have earned a degree. But the young woman was always full of surprises that usually turned out fine in the end. She wouldn’t trust just anyone to do this work. At the very least, he seemed capable of holding up the roof if there was a cave-in. Another hand was always useful, right?

And so, Snake joined the team, mostly staying out of the way but always being helpful where he could. He and Lara talked a lot in their spare time, as everyone else was still a bit wary of him. She was happy to spend that time with him and make him feel more comfortable as a proper member of society. Their conversations were often long and filled with all sorts of their wild tales and ideas. They got along incredibly well for people with such different lives.

After weeks of the archaeologists working on tracking down their goal, they knew they were close. After hitting a dead end for the day, most of the team took the chance to rest for the night. Lara was still determined to make progress, however, so she headed back into the caves. Snake didn’t want to be alone with the people he knew less than her, so he tagged along.

They had been following an ancient mysterious map, and the next part was unclear. There were no physical clues to suggest where they should search next, so the old scroll was all they had to go on. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Lara muttered, leafing through all the notes they had written so far. “This part isn’t written in the same language. It doesn’t look like any language at all.” Snake didn’t want to get in her way, but peeked over her shoulder in curiosity. She noticed him there and moved the pages so he could see better. “What do you think?” Lara asked him.

Snake felt a bit self-conscious, as he hadn’t done this sort of thing in a while. Everyone else seemed to suspect that he would eventually mess things up, and he didn’t want to prove them right. Still, he ran his finger across the words, the gears in his head turning while he tried to figure out what they were missing.

The two shared a few thoughts back and forth while they mutually considered it, until Snake’s eyes widened in sudden realization. “It’s in code! These symbols all line up with other spots on the map. They must show the translation somehow.”

Lara narrowed her eyes to examine it one more time until her face lit up in agreement. “I can’t believe it! You’re right!!” she laughed in joy. They grinned largely at each other in excitement before Lara glanced at the map one more time to confirm. I deed, it seemed correct. “Oh, Snake! You glorious bastard!” she gushed. Before he knew what was happening, she had kissed him on the cheek.

Snake blinked in shock. But Lara acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, instead voicing plans to share this with the others before doing too much more on their own. The others were all asleep when they got out of the cave, so they sat alone by the campfire, discussing the discovery a bit more before they would go to sleep themselves. But there were other things that were at the forefront of Snake’s mind.

“Hey… What was that all about back there?” It was hard for him to look at Lara in quite the same way since she had given him that quick kiss.

Lara must have been thinking about the same thing, because she didn’t even need to think before answering him, “That was nothing.”

Snake scoffed, watching the way she averted her eyes. “You're not a very good liar,” he said.

“Well, I never intended to do it, so it doesn’t matter what it was.” Snake’s disapproving but kind expression broke her avoidance down faster than Lara would have liked to admit. She gave in with a sigh. “It’s just that I've... grown fond of you these past few weeks. I wasn’t going to say anything since I was going back to England after this and I wouldn't see you again. When I came here, I never expected I would, well...” Her words trailed off. She had never been very good at expressing her deepest feelings.

Despite the large revelation, Snake didn’t seem caught off guard at all. He shrugged and replied, “That's no problem. It’s not like there’s a reason for me to stay in Springfield.”

Lara looked back towards him, thankful the glow of the fire hid the blush that had appeared on her cheeks. “What are you saying?” She didn't quite understand.

Snake chuckled. “Do you think I'd do all this if I didn't dig you a little too? I didn’t think you were my type, but… I don’t know. I guess maybe my type actually is rash historians with a heart of gold. You really gave me my life back this past month. I can’t imagine you not being around me anymore.”

“Oh. Snake…”

Snake confidently gestured towards himself to make up for her sudden wariness. “If you really like me, I’ll come back to England with you. After all, If you change your mind, all you have to do is tell the police about me and I’m gone from your life forever. No breakup necessary. But if you don’t, I can get used to drinking tea and eating crumpets, I guess.”

Lara laughed. “So you're saying you'd be my boyfriend?"

"If you would be my girlfriend."

"Perhaps that can be arranged, then."

The pair were quite awkward, as most new friends would be around each other when they had just mutually expressed their romantic feelings. They sat there, mesmerized by the fire, with ecstatic expressions goofier and brighter than they could have imagined they were capable of. They could have stayed in that strange bliss for an eternity, but it was late, and they needed rest for the discoveries to be made the next day.

They each worked up the nerve to embrace before parting to their tents, savoring the close touch they had secretly longed for as their feelings grew over time.

"You know this is crazy, right?" Lara said as they ended the hug. "We don't know each other well at all. It's all a bit fast."

“Crazy hasn't stopped you yet," Snake teased. "Besides, I'll have all the time in the world with you once I cross the border."

Lara knew he was talking about hiding from law enforcement. “Things will likely catch up to you eventually, you know," she somberly replied.

"Not with you always saving me in the nick of time!" He joked. But Snake grew a bit more serious before saying, "You know, I never really thanked you for--"

Lara shook her head. "You don't need to. The things you've done are thanks enough. ...I'm glad I was right about you." She tenderly held his hand in a way that Snake wasn't sure anyone else ever had. It made him feel like that soft cookie again. He was glad she was right about him too.

They had both taken risky chances on each other, no sure where those decisions would lead. No one could have guessed it would lead to a relationship between the unlikely duo. Regardless, the blossoming love between them felt natural after all they had been through together, even in a short amount of time.

Now Snake knew that no successful scheme in the world could feel as good as being genuinely wanted for who he was by someone else. This next chapter of his life would be dedicated to making sure Lara felt the same way too. He had to admit he was starting to love even the craziest things she did, after all. And no one could try to stop him.


	2. The Next Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara and Snake go to England. Roth disapproves. Crime ensues. Also, Christmas?

Lara and Snake stayed quiet about their newfound relationship until the archaeology dig was over, not wanting to distract anyone with gossip or even distract themselves from the task at hand. But their spare-time conversations felt more meaningful now that they had confessed their feelings for each other, each recounted adventure giving them ever more reasons to admire the other.

Snake tried his hardest to impress the other archaeologists, especially Lara. It was hard to compete with her skillset, and he felt like he had to step up his game after she had saved him. Lara’s day was always brightened by Snake’s spunky attitude and crazy ideas. It made a few months of work feel like a vacation away from their normal life, with constant new motivations and reasons to smile. 

After everything got wrapped up, the two got plane tickets to London. They weren't really sure what their plans were, but it felt like the right thing to do. They were eager to see how things would turn out, but it was certainly a strange start. Everyone who walked past them saw two people who would cast each other plenty of adoring glances at one another but look embarrassed if they got too close. Everything was still so new to them.

“Is this even the right way?” Snake questioned, looking at his ticket with confusion as they made their way through the airport.

Lara took a glance. “Yes, we’re headed to the right gate.” Something else on the ticket caught her eye. “Chester Turley? Is that your real name?” Half of her was making sure that he hadn’t stolen someone else’s passport to make the trip, and the other half was genuinely curious. He was certainly pretty mysterious about himself most of the time.

Snake stuffed the ticket back in his pocket quickly, looking a bit flustered. “I like to be called Snake.”

“And it suits you,” Lara replied, hoping that didn’t sound offensive. “But Chester’s a fine name. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Snake didn’t continue the conversation, silence taking over as they began the wait for the boarding time. But Snake didn’t do very well sitting in silence, so he broke it. “I haven’t been on a plane in years.”

“I’m sure nothing about them has changed since,” Lara assured him. “Nothing to worry about. ...I’m more concerned with what happens after we land.”

“Oh?”

“Roth -- he was my legal guardian after my father died -- will be at the manor when we get there.”

Snake’s eyes widened in shock and intrigue. “Manor? We’re going to some castle?!”

Lara held up a hand in pause. “One thing at a time.” Her eyes looked about at the floor anxiously, trying to collect her thoughts. “I told Roth that someone else from the dig was coming back to England with me, but I didn’t fully explain who exactly you are. So it might come as a bit of a shock, to say the least.”

“What, has he never seen an _americano_ like me before? I can do a hoity-toity accent like yours if I must.”

“Not that. He doesn’t know that we’re, um…”

“Dating.”

Lara let out a breath, as if relieved she didn’t have to be the one to say it. “Well, yes. I don’t know what he’ll think about it.”

Snake scoffed, leaning back in his seat. “Come on, you’re an adult, aren’t you? Who cares if some old guy doesn’t like the fact that you went to another country for a few months and came back with a boyfriend you met in the middle of a crime?” he replied nonchalantly.

Although when he put it that way it was concerning, Lara knew logically that he was right. She was an adult and didn’t need the approval of others in her personal life. But she had never dated anyone before, and so she had no idea how Roth would react, especially considering the strange circumstances surrounding it all.

But she tried to push it out of her mind to enjoy the trip. Plane rides were always some good quiet time to catch up on a book, but it was also entertaining to see Snake experience it all like it was his first time. There was something oddly charming beneath all of his rough edges, and it made Lara feel relaxed. If anything, he was a nice diversion after all the stress she had experienced in the past couple of years. Being even more than that would be nice.

“So are you going to explain this mansion thing?” Snake asked after they caught a taxi at the airport in London.

“Manor,” Lara corrected, feeling a bit awkward as she always did when explaining her home to people. “My family comes from aristocracy. I inherited the estate after my parents passed away, but I’ve never used the money.”

“Have to applaud the self-control. I woulda spent all that money the second I had it,” Snake commented, dollar signs almost visible passing across his eyes in a daydream.

“I rarely stay there,” Lara continued. “It’s more convenient to have an apartment in the city if I’m doing work with the university. But since I was traveling for so long, I moved back to the manor to cut costs. And so, that’s my home until the next endeavour is decided.”

Snake nodded in understanding. “Just like me in my little house, planning the next crime.” The taxi driver looked very concerned in the rearview mirror.

A distance away from the city, they came upon a long drive past sprawling gardens to the Croft manor. Snake’s eyes were glued to the scenery, having never seen anything like it before. As an ex-archaeologist, he was more used to seeing ruins of such fancy buildings.

Past the impressive doors, Conrad Roth was pacing about. He looked up in happy surprise as they entered, rushing over to give Lara a warm embrace. “Lara! It’s been too long since we last saw each other. I’ve just been waiting all day for you to arrive, I was so excited.” He gave Snake an analytical look up and down. “This must be your new work acquaintance, eh?”

“What’s crack-a-lackin’, dude?” Snake replied.

“Snake, meet Roth. And Roth, this is Snake Jailbird,” Lara introduced the two men to each other. She anxiously wrung her hands together while revealing the next piece of information. “Roth, Snake is actually my boyfriend.”

Roth blinked slowly, his expression quickly turning incredulous. “What?” he nearly laughed. “You’re serious.”

“We both worked the expedition,” Lara explained, not wanting to tell him the whole story and concern him any further. “And things just happened, so here we are.”

Snake crossed his arms and smiled smugly, as if to brag about snagging quite the catch of a woman, while Roth seemed to inspect him once more. “Yeah, we’re totally dating,” Snake said, although realizing that they had never actually gone on a date.

Roth was not happy with this. It was one thing for Lara to be friends with someone like Snake, but dating was another story. Unshaven, tattooed, a questionable hairstyle… He looked like the exact kind of man that would get into fights for the fun of it and break a new girl's heart every night. Roth deemed that unacceptable for a lady like Lara and therefore became determined to intervene before it went too far. 

"I see… Lara, can I have a moment?" he asked, and the two went into the next room, leaving Snake to pace around the entry hall alone.

"Are you serious about this lad?" Roth asked the young woman, slightly convinced it had to be a practical joke. If he had ever pictured Lara with anyone, they would have been the soft-spoken, studious type. Not a burly and cocky thug with a cartoon snake permanently stuck on his arm. 

Lara nodded. "Yes, I like him."

Roth sighed. "Look, I knew sure, you’d likely get interested in dating eventually. But this guy? Lara, I know his type. He’s trouble. And yes, I know full well that you can handle yourself, but I don’t want you to get unnecessarily hurt. Hearts can only hold so many scars. I would know,” he told her sincerely.

"But you don't know Snake! And I do, so please trust my judgement. Sure, he's done bad things, but that doesn't make him a bad person. You should be familiar with that as well."

Roth couldn’t argue with that. Most of his friends had a colorful past, and he also knew better than to judge someone based on their appearance. But he had always felt like a father to Lara, and he didn’t want to leave her in the hands of some ruffian with a weak chin who had "jail" in his name. “...Wait, you already know he’s done bad things?!” He finally realized what exactly she had said.

The brunette waved her hands in frustration. “Maybe! But he’s done with all that now. I promise.”

“That’s what they all say, and that’s what we call a red flag!” Roth said emphatically. “And if you met him at the site, you can't have known each other long. Not enough to bring him across the Atlantic with you! You need to be more careful, Lara.”

“And you need to give him a chance. You know, I hoped you would at least _try_ to be happy for me.” She shook her head in disappointment and pointedly walked away.

Roth called after her, but knew it was best to just let her cool off on her own. Truly, what did he know about relationships? He had never settled down. But Snake looked like some gang member, and after taking care of Lara for nearly two decades, he didn’t want to leave her in another’s questionable hands. Roth was sure she’d snap out of it eventually, right?

On the other side of things, Lara was determined to prove to him that Snake wasn’t a bad guy. But before that, she just wanted to get away from him. And so, she went back into the main hall, where Snake was staring at vases as if calculating how much money he could pawn them for. She grabbed onto his arm and started leading him back outside the manor. “There’s a garage outside. Let’s drive; I can show you around the city.”

“Your house is so fancy, your car has to be quite the hot rod,” Snake muttered dreamily, oblivious to the argument that had just happened a room away.

Lara shrugged, not wanting to make her life seem glamorous when it wasn’t. “Not mine, my father’s. I rarely drive. You can, if you’d like.” Snake looked so genuinely excited that Lara almost forgot about fighting with Roth just a minute ago. They headed out away from the manor and back into the heart of London for some urban adventuring. After she reminded him that he was driving on the wrong side of the road, of course.

When they got back that evening, Roth was gone from the house. Lara hoped he hadn’t raged away in disapproval, but couldn’t care less at the same time.

“It doesn’t feel natural to be in a place like this,” Snake said, still staring at every detail of the old manor with wonder. “But I could get used to it. Fast.”

“It’s never quite felt like a true home to me,” Lara mused. “I guess I spent more time exploring with Roth than in here.”

“What were you two talking about earlier?” Snake inquired, having felt a little left out.

Lara shook her head, hating to think back on it. “He’s just unsure about you. More than I thought he would. But it’s fine. We should bring our luggage up and retire for the night; it’s been a long day.” Snake didn’t get the sense that it really was fine, but for all the numerous girlfriends he had in the past, he had never quite figured out the emotional support part. Before he could even try to say anything of help, Lara spoke again. “Where’d you get that watch?” she asked flatly, suddenly noticing something shiny on Snake’s wrist that she hadn’t throughout the rest of the day.

He looked at his watch in confusion before a cold realization came over him. "I stole it," he stated matter-of-factly, trying to stay level-headed.

"Snake!!"

"Dude, it was an accident! Force of habit, okay?"

"You have to give it to the police!"

"I'm not just turning myself in!"

"Say you found it on the street, then!"

Against everything in his body that was trained to say otherwise, Snake gave in. "Okay, I will. Tomorrow. Don't be so angey." Snake was visibly frustrated as he took the watch off and put it in his pocket.

"I'm not angry," Lara sighed, feeling very stressed and tired. "I just wanted things to start off on the right foot here."

Snake’s face tightened in frustration, so he did his best to get past the conversation. "Where are we crashing for the night?"

Lara started up the staircase, leading him to the closest bedroom. Snake flung his small suitcase into the corner before collapsing onto the plush bed.

"Better than a tent, that's for certain," Lara said, watching him sink into the blankets.

"How do you get out of bed every morning?" Snake wondered, finding it hard to believe that he found his old mattress comforting at all. "This is heaven... Come on, what are you waiting for?" He beckoned to the space beside him.

Lara hesitated. Then the sound of a door opening downstairs signaled that Roth had come back for the night, which helped her finish making up her mind. "I'll sleep somewhere else tonight, thanks."

Confusion flashed in Snake's eyes, wondering why his girlfriend wouldn't want to be with him. Lara slipped out and closed the door before he could question anything. She didn't want Roth to get even more upset if he knew they were any closer than necessary. The closest they had ever even been was when they hugged on that fateful night of confessions. Besides, she was used to sleeping alone.

Snake woke up late the next day, needing rest after all the traveling he had just done. He slinked downstairs to see Roth eating cheese in the kitchen. “Aw, sweet. Cheese!” He eagerly reached for the food, but the older man snatched it out of his reach. Snake gave him a glare and tried to resist the urge to start a fistfight. “Where’s Lara?” he asked instead.

“In the library, studying. She wanted to be alone to focus,” Roth answered, looking at Snake through narrowed eyes. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-four,” Snake answered in a way that questioned why it was being asked in the first place. Roth muttered something to himself that Snake couldn’t quite catch but was understandable as something potentially offensive. Snake wasn’t sure why; he didn’t think it was that strange of an age for a relationship. Lara was twenty-four, not eighteen.

Roth set the cheese down before stepping towards Snake, towering over him despite only being a few inches taller. "Tell me. What are your intentions with Lara?"

Snake shrugged. “I don’t know. If she was like every other girl I’ve dated, she’d dump me in a few months. I’d just have fun while I can.” Roth’s fists tightened, so Snake quickly finished what he was saying while taking a cautious step back. “But she’s different. I want to spend as much time with her as I can. Searching for relics or doing anything else. I’m not picky.”

Roth jabbed a finger towards the other man’s face. "Well, you know how to get your way around trouble, eh? I know men like you, Snake. And I don’t trust you to keep Lara safe.”

Snake was a tough guy, but Roth was clearly not someone to mess with. And so, he quickly excused himself and made his way out of the building to return the watch as promised. Although he was trying to appease the seasoned adventurer for the time being and prevent his nose from being squashed in, he had no intentions of staying away forever. He was already missing the routine of seeing Lara all the time and working on historical mysteries with her. He couldn’t give that up easily.

Lara stayed busy with her nose in a book for the entire day. She was hoping to tie up some final loose ends from what they had been discovering in America so that she felt completely free to begin whatever was next for her. Surprisingly, something new arrived immediately, as she got a phone call from a number she didn't recognize.

The call was short but something Lara considered urgent. She ran out of the manor and hoped for quiet traffic. After reaching her destination, she tried to steady herself before entering the police station. Unfortunately, that wasn't very easy.

"He told us to call you. I don’t know what you have to do with this delinquent Yank, but there’s not much you can do to help his case,” the police officer stated matter-of-factly.

Snake was being held by another officer, his eyes dark with rage. He opened his mouth to snap back at them, so Lara cut him off before he could say anything that would get him any deeper into trouble. “What exactly is going on here?” she asked.

“He was caught cheating at a betting game. Theft by deception, you know. He got reported before he could get away with a large sum, so normally this would go to the courts to determine a fine to pay. But he’s been putting up a lot of resistance, which won’t help any case against a bit of jail time… If he’ll calm down, we’ll send him off with a court date. I’m guessing that’s why you’re here.”

“Of course I resisted!” Snake growled. “I’ve been in prison enough already; I don’t need to know what you pretentious hacks will do to me.”

“Who's the victim here? May I speak to them?” Lara asked the officer, and they conversed together in an office where said person had been waiting. Snake was grateful that Lara seemed to be trying to help his case, but it felt like a painful eternity while he was still stuck in handcuffs.

Thankfully, he was soon released. “You’re free to go, Mr. Turley. Your charges have been dropped by the victim. It's a civil matter now, if you keep your nose out of trouble."

“It’s Jailbird to you,” Snake muttered, focusing on the most unimportant point.

"Come on, Snake. It's late. I'll explain everything on the way." Lara took his hand and led him outside before he did anything else that would make him look like a scummy tourist in need of a lesson.

"You saved my life! How am I supposed to repay you?" he gushed over her once they were alone again. But Lara refused to make eye contact.

"All I did was prove the case was a waste of time. You were already forced to give the money back, and there's no hard evidence for court. They didn't need much convincing that you didn't know any better, anyway. Plus, they already had record that you returned a ‘lost’ watch today, which helps."

Snake smiled and laughed. "You're amazing. Oh, how I wish I'd known you sooner!"

His girlfriend still didn't share his enthusiasm. "I thought we were past all this," she said softly, her knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. "I just hoped that--" Her words trailed off into silence. 

It felt like a punch to the gut when Snake finally realized that she was evidently quite stressed out because of what he'd dragged her into. On top of the danger he'd put her through in America, now he had committed more crimes in England, when all she ever asked of him was to behave. How could he do that to someone he loved?

A few months of archaeology wasn't enough to get rid of the old Snake. He had to put in more effort to be an upstanding guy that someone could be proud of. And not just _someone_. Lara. She was too good to him to lose her over his illegal tendencies.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the trip back to the manor. And once they were there, Lara got caught up in anxiously pacing through the living room. Trying to take her mind off things, Snake asked if she had any plans now that they were in London. 

“I don’t know, Snake,” she sighed, holding her hand to her forehead. “I just don’t know if this is going to work out like we hoped it would.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Maybe we’re just not on the same page about some things. Maybe it was too early to try and make this work. Roth’s right. This is too much too soon. We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into by coming here together.” She looked towards him with a sense of tragic helplessness. “We’re in over our heads. We have to end it before it gets worse.”

Snake’s jaw dropped. “You're joking!" he gasped incredulously. "How can you say that with everything we’ve got?"

“But it’s not working out! With every mess we keep getting into, I don't know if we're truly right for each other. I don't know if you're actually willing to change," she finished, the words seeming difficult to say.

Snake lowered his eyebrows and gestured towards himself. “Of course I am! But you don't think it's hard for me? I left everything I know behind for this. For you! The only thing I cared about in life, my car--I gave that up at this random chance that we could be happy together. You don’t even know how much I loved that thing.” He looked away in a bittersweet memory, but let it slip away to return a steady gaze towards Lara. "Yeah, I'm a bad guy sometimes. But I've never had a girl I've wanted to be good for before. Like, I don't want to just use you. That's not it at all. And I thought you'd give me time to get there. That's the first thing you ever did for me."

The deep hurt showing on his face made Lara’s heart sink. She didn’t expect he would care so much, that he even felt so much towards her. That made her feel even more strongly for Snake, which made her thoroughly regret trying to end things despite their issues. She shamefully responded, "I thought I had given you time. Maybe I haven't."

"This place gave me more opportunities to slip up than I could imagine after the past months," Snake admitted, finding it hard to resist the call to steal. "But I'm trying to be better for us. Where's all this coming from all of a sudden?"

Lara averted her eyes. "Our relationship started under the pretense that you had stopped breaking the law. So when you seemed so relaxed about all of this, I assumed you didn't really care. That I was wrong about you."

"We could have just talked about this," Snake said gently. "Usually I get at least some warning before a breakup," he laughed lightly to try and ease the mood.

Lara let out a deep breath. "I've never been in a relationship before. I don't know how to work through these things. I got scared." 

"And that's my fault. I'm sorry." Snake gave her a comforting embrace, which she returned sincerely but with one remaining protest.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't treat you fairly. And I hate admitting it, because I really care for you, Snake."

“And you make me wanna be a good guy. So I swear I'll be the goodest guy I can possibly be from here on out. You're all I’ve got."

Lara held onto him even tighter. "And you mean everything to me."

Roth stepped away from the edge of the doorframe to give them some genuine privacy, having overheard most of their conversation. Even if he had been right to think that Snake wasn't completely trustworthy, he had been wrong to not see that his adoration for Lara ran deeper than anything else. And furthermore, that he was the right person to help Lara gain trust after all the shady characters she had dealt with before. Roth finally felt like he could try to believe he was leaving his almost-daughter in safe hands.

Eating breakfast the next morning, the couple had been sitting close to each other. But as Roth entered the kitchen, they awkwardly created a bit more distance between them. No one wanted drama that early in the day.

Contrary to expectations, Roth gave them a smile. "Lucky for you, you'll have Croft Manor to yourself soon," he announced.

"You're leaving?" Lara asked, hoping she hadn't unintentionally pushed him away.

"Ah, you knew I was just here for a few days. I've got a ship to captain; we're due to set sail at noon, so I'm headed there now."

Lara got up from her seat to give Roth a hug goodbye and all the well-wishes she could. They were used to goodbyes, but it always felt a little sad to part ways.

"Listen, before I go," Roth said, holding Lara's arms and looking at her with a serious but gentle expression. "I know that you’ve been a bit wary of starting any kind of new relationship after everything that’s happened. And I’m sure I didn’t do anything to help that. But you're becoming more mature every day, and I know you always have sound judgement. Even if it seems crazy to the rest of us." He turned his head to Snake, who looked back warily. "I trust you to be a good man, Snake. I trust you," he repeated, staring him in the eye intensely to make sure he wouldn't do anything to break that trust.

Lara smiled. "Thank you, Roth." It felt very calming to have their relationship finally be accepted. After the aging man sauntered off into his own adventure, Snake and Lara couldn't help but give each other a mutual quiet laugh of relief before getting close to each other once more.

Snake quickly set to work on getting back to what he loved and anything that would keep him from pointing guns at cashiers. He got a work visa to help identify and analyze some ancient Mayan coins that were to be displayed at a museum. Lara had her own work to complete as usual, grateful that it didn’t need to take her out of London so she could stay with Snake. Because while work kept them busy, and they did enjoy it, the best part of their days was always spending time with each other. It was always such sweetness to learn more about one another and consequently grow closer.

"What do you always keep under your shirtsleeve?" Lara asked one day as they sat on the couch, quietly relaxing on a day off. She had gotten used to seeing the shape of something unknown on his upper arm and hadn’t thought to ask about it until she fully noticed it again at that moment.

“Cigarettes,” he answered simply.

Lara looked at him curiously. “I've never seen you smoke,” she questioned.

“Well, it would have been rude to smoke at the dig. I haven’t felt like it since then.”

“You quit smoking because it was polite?”

“What are all the questions for? You want me to or something?” Snake scoffed, taking the box out from under his t-shirt sleeve and holding it in his hand.

“No!” Lara put her hand on top of his to cover them up. “It’s surely a sign of something good if you were able to give them up. I was only wondering why you would still keep them there all the time if you don’t use them.”

“Just a habit. Like putting on socks every morning.” He tossed them across the room. “There. Two more seconds I can spend with you instead of that every day.”

The thoughtful sentiment made Lara smile. She also pointed out another positive, “And you can wear sleeveless shirts. I never get to see your entire tattoo.”

“You like my tattoo?!” Snake asked excitedly. He rolled up his sleeve and flexed his biceps to show it off, making Lara laugh.

“Yes,” she answered. “It brings out your eyes. I can’t imagine you without it.”

Snake wasn’t used to being complimented very often, so he was at a bit of a loss for words. But why use words when he could just show his appreciation by pulling his girl in for a warm snuggle.

After all, cold and rainy weather was moving in as summer finally yielded to autumn. After one particularly blustery and wet day, the night fell into a large storm that caused the power to go out. Lara and Snake went about lighting some candles for visibility while they tried to figure out a solution.

“So much for dinner,” Snake grumbled, frustratedly trying to turn the stove on to no avail. He hoped that the steak he had planned on making wouldn’t spoil with the refrigeration gone as well.

“What are we going to do now? Do you think delivery still runs in this weather?” Lara asked, looking out the window at the booming lightning in the distance.

"There aren't many options with the power gone." Snake sighed and leaned against the counter, thinking for a moment. “We could make out or something,” he finally decided, slyly raising an eyebrow towards her.

“‘Make out?’” she awkwardly repeated with a laugh. “Snake, I meant for dinner.” But Snake shrugged, as if to say his offer still stood.

The sound of the phrase was a bit strange to Lara. They had kissed rather chastely a few times before in the month they had been living together. Not frequently enough to consider it regular, but enough that it felt fairly comfortable between them. Regardless, it seemed like a strange proposition. 

“I was just saying, it’d be fun. There are worse ways to wait this out,” Snake said, beginning to brush the idea off. And maybe he had just been messing around with her the entire time, but Lara couldn’t quite let it go in her mind. Maybe she wasn’t thinking right because she was hungry, but the thought of kissing Snake was becoming more appealing by the moment as she looked at him. She did find him handsome, if not conventionally so. The dim lighting added something to it, she thought. Like a hidden treasure to seize.

She quickly stepped over to pull his face to hers. The unexpected kiss made Snake grab onto her for balance, his flailing arm knocking over a candle in the process. A napkin on the counter sparked into flame from the wick. The warm flash in the corner of his eye alerted Snake. He fell away to spring into action, grabbing the unlit corner of the napkin and throwing it into the sink before putting the candle back upright. Doom was averted.

"Dude!" Snake gasped, finally letting himself breathe after those chaotic seconds. "That was gnarly. The last thing we need is a house fire too." He looked over to Lara to make sure she was fine, panicking for a moment when she wasn't there. But she _was_ there, just on the floor. She had sunk into a sitting position, face buried in her hands from embarrassment. "Hey, that was my fault!" he reassured her, finding it both sad and cute that she looked so upset over a small accident. Lara was a very reasonable and capable woman, but she did get insecure about small things at times.

Lara shook her head as if disagreeing. “Why do I even try? I'm not cut out for this sort of thing,” she groaned to herself in melancholy and frustration. 

“Uh, try what?” Snake asked, trying to figure out what exactly she was so hung up on. All she had done was kiss him-- "Aww, babe," Snake said in realization, kneeling down to her level. "You can kiss me like that whenever, wherever. Start a fire, break my spine, whatever."

Lara moved her hands slightly to peer back at him, a blush visible on her cheeks. "It just wasn't quite as suave or romantic as I would have hoped…"

"It was _fun_! That's all I asked for." Snake pulled her hands away and gave her a smile. “But if you wanted more...” He leaned in to compensate for the lost kiss, safely away from any flames. But despite the lack of any high heat, Lara melted into his touch like wax.

It was a sweet moment, intimately hidden in the dark of the storm. A mutual understanding arose between the couple that they could be completely comfortable around one another, like a turning point in their relationship where they knew for certain they were a compatible match.

As autumn turned into winter, Lara no longer felt odd being seen as Snake's girlfriend in public even though they still looked and acted so differently from one another. Similarly, he less often felt the need to try to prove himself to others as a suitable boyfriend. But while their relationship felt very stable, they still couldn't help but bicker sometimes.

"Come on! You've got to wear your scarf properly. It doesn't do you any good like that," Lara complained, trying to wrap Snake's scarf around his face as they walked down the street.

Annoyed, he gently pushed her away. "That's too itchy! And it's not even cold enough for a scarf. I only put it on because you offered."

"You can't complain about it being itchy when you haven't trimmed your moustache in weeks," Lara argued, 

"I've been busy! This is my intellectual look, where I'm so deep in academia that I lose myself. I can't help it; it comes naturally."

"Because you're spending more time coming up with arguments you can use against the historians there than on productive things. I asked you to clean the bedroom a week ago, and it's still a mess!"

"And I asked you to buy food, but now here we are having to do it together."

Lara sighed and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Exactly as I planned it," she teased. 

Snake rolled his eyes, but smiled. Their arguments were never mean-spirited, but well-meaning or at least for the humor of it. He hit her with the end of the scarf for a final clapback. Lara was about to comment that he sure could be immature for someone who sure liked to brag about his Ph.D., but something else caught her attention.

“Is someone singing?” she asked as they stopped at a crosswalk. A chorus of voices could be heard close by, and she craned her neck around the corner to see what was going on. “Snake! There are carolers!” A casual group of singers were gathered down the street, singing to everyone who passed by.

Snake raised an eyebrow curiously. “That’s surprisingly festive for this part of town. They’re usually so stuffy.”

“This is so nice; I love Christmas songs! Oh, I wish I could join them…” Lara gazed at them wistfully.

“Why don't you? We have time,” Snake offered. Groceries could wait for a few jolly Christmas carols.

However, Lara declined with a shake of her head. “I don’t want to intrude on their group. Besides, I have terrible stage fright. I don’t need to get nervous and ruin it for everyone with a sick stomach.”

Snake shrugged and started crossing the street with her now that it was clear of traffic. “Whatever you want, baby. I don’t want you to miss out on something you want.”

Lara waved a hand dismissively. “It’s fine. We could just sing some at home, anyway.” Snake didn’t look too sure about that idea, but it had gotten Lara’s mind on a roll. “It's going to be our first Christmas together,” she realized.”I've never really bothered to do much to get into the spirit, but now I feel like we have to sing and decorate and make gingerbread--”

Snake held out a hand to slow her down. “That’s a nice thought,” he agreed. “If you want to decorate cookies or whatever, I’m all in. And I like Christmas carols too, but I don't really like singing. At all. We might have to cut that part of the deal.”

She looked away as just a small bit of disappointment showed on her face. “Oh. Okay. That’s fine.”

He felt bad but wasn't about to just give in and change his mind that quickly. Instead, Snake tried to sweeten things up again. "Anything else is on the table. Stringing up a million lights? Chopping down a tree with my own manly hands? A whole family of snowmen with carrot noses?”

“All I ask is that you’re willing to make Christmas biscuits with me. We’ll do it tonight.”

“Biscuits?!” Snake sounded bewildered at the thought of biscuits being anything special for the holidays.

Lara scoffed jokingly, “Alright, _cookies_ , you colonist.” She couldn’t keep up the haughty act for long, falling into laughter at the comical look on his face.

They bought random ingredients with no particular recipe in mind. Lara ended up determined to try recreating a childhood favorite of hers, but neither of them really knew anything about how to bake, especially when creating a frankenstein recipe based on random tips they found online. But they had fun, putting on cheery music and not taking the task at hand too seriously.

The cookies didn’t turn out as perfectly as they would have hoped, but a heap of colorful icing helped cover up the imperfections. And after licking the spoon, it covered their noses too. The impromptu Christmas activity definitely did make the big empty manor feel a bit more cozy and festive. A warm energy emanated from everything as they finally crawled to bed despite the snow falling outside.

“Thank you, Snake,” Lara said softly as she burrowed under the blankets.

“For what?” he asked, turning off the light.

There was a smile in her voice, despite how exhausted they were after staying up. “I haven’t felt this excited for Christmas in years.”

“Oh. You’re welcome,” he responded awkwardly, not really understanding how he was responsible for that. He climbed into bed and simply looked at the ceiling for a few moments, soaking in his thoughts. He turned to Lara to speak, but noticed the slow rise and fall of her breaths that suggested she was already asleep. He sighed, "Huh, alright."

Snake had wanted to apologize for the singing thing. If she was this happy just from making Christmas cookies, singing with her surely would have skyrocketed him to the position of best boyfriend ever. But maybe it was some kind of stage fright like Lara, or just a hatred of singing after he got a D- in choir back in elementary school. He often secretly ditched it to have fun around town with other kids, something that not only made him a rebel but also inspired a sense of adventure in him that consequently led to archaeology.

The memories were bittersweet. He wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing, because it all led him to the happiest spot he’d ever been. And for him, that meant finally putting someone else's needs above his own. It sounded strange to admit, but Lara did need him. She worked a lot, and she wasn't the kind of person to invite friends over regularly. If he wasn't around, she would be alone in most of her spare time. Even if she could fight off one hundred bloodthirsty maniacs and had the scars to prove it, she couldn't keep herself company. When her closest friends were oceans away, Snake was the one who was there all the time. Just the same way she was always there when he needed her.

He knew he was helping her, but the way she had helped him felt even more significant. "Making cookies is the least I could do," he whispered and gazed at the back of her head lovingly. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, the way she would do to him sometimes to compete against his strong hair gel and try to mess it up. He would have hated that with anybody else. With that concept in mind, maybe he’d be fine with singing, if it was for Lara. Now, while she was asleep, it wouldn’t be so embarrassing. Maybe it could bring her a nice holiday dream.

He started humming the song they heard the carolers sing, “The Christmas Song,” until he could remember the right words. Snake was well-aware that he wasn't a good singer, so he sang the lyrics of mistletoe and Santa Claus softly to not disturb her slumber.

Once he finished the song, he began withdrawing his hand so he could go to sleep. As his touch slid away, Lara’s hand suddenly reached up to hold his in place. Snake’s eyes widened in surprise, wondering if she had been awake the whole time. That made him uncomfortable for a moment, but the joy he felt from her wanting him to stay close made those feelings dissipate quickly. Maybe he’d have to change his mind about singing.

Thankfully, Lara never brought it up, and Snake never had to know if his secret had been exposed. The two simply enjoyed a renewed sense of holiday spirit over the next few weeks until the big morning finally arrived. They hadn’t made any big plans so that they could just take things easy and have a comfortable, festive day. Thus, Snake woke up on Christmas expecting not much more than some nice breakfast and a small gift exchange. This meant that Lara’s apparent mountain of excitement seemed a little out of place.

“Father Christmas left a present for you downstairs!” she announced eagerly as Snake did his best to look a bit more presentable for the day.

He raised an eyebrow in concern while pushing his hair out of his face. "This isn't something crazy, is it? Because I got you something small, and I don't want to look cheap."

"I'm sure whatever you have for me is wonderful, Snake. But this is about your present! I don't want you to think about it; just enjoy it."

"Well, okay. What is it?"

Lara led him downstairs with a large grin. “Remember when you saw that dog last week and you thought it was so cute? Or the one before that? Allllllll the times you’ve told me you’ve always wanted a pet?”

A dozen emotions flashed across Snake’s face as he realized what she was saying. “Lara. No. You didn’t.”

"What?"

"You can't have done that for me."

"It wouldn't be good form to get you anything less of a present." She kissed his cheek. "You're the best, Snake. Merry Christmas!"

Lara opened the kitchen door, and a young dog came running out, immediately drawn to Snake and jumping up at his legs. The man looked like he could cry; puppies were one of his favorite things in the entire world, and he had always dreamed of having a dog of his own. He had never truly believed that those dreams would become a reality, and it felt too good to be true.

“Lara-- What-- He’s so amazing--” Snake could barely form a sentence, he was so entranced.

Lara laughed tenderly. “Come on, you can touch him!” she encouraged, and Snake cautiously picked up the pup. He immediately started licking his new owner’s face, and Snake melted into a puddle of joy.

He looked into the dog’s eyes, ready to burst with happiness. “You are the best thing I’ve ever held,” he said. Then he quickly cast a look towards his girlfriend to clarify, “Besides you, of course.”

“No, I think you’re right,” Lara said, giving the puppy’s speckled coat a pat. She couldn’t resist saying no to adopting the dog once she had met him, even if Snake was impartial to having one in the house. She’d never seen a cuter canine.

Snake played with his new best friend while Lara sat back and just watched the two with adoration. He was easy to please, but Lara knew this was one thing that would make his life feel complete. And maybe it could be a reason to stay in the manor even longer and bring it back to life as she remembered it from childhood.

Eventually the excitement of playing in his new home was too tiring, and the puppy began to fall asleep. “What should we name him?” Snake asked as he joined Lara in the kitchen, eyes still glued to the pile of fluff sleeping on the floor.

“Hmm. Roquefort?” Lara suggested, not sure how serious of an answer she was giving.

“Not something short like Max or Freckles?”

“We’ll have to see what his personality’s like first,” Lara decided. “We have a lot to learn, I’m sure. If we don’t train him well, Roth will never let me hear the end of it.”

“He’ll be perfect; I’ll make sure of it,” Snake promised. “You’ll have the kind of pet who can bring you the paper every morning.” He rubbed his hands together excitedly. “This is so exciting. It’s like another step forward for us! First we get pets, and then what’s next? Marriage? Kids? I think I'd be a great stay at home dad, just sayin’.”

As she listened to his list, Lara grimaced slightly and crossed her arms. “Maybe we can have this conversation in a couple of months. Or preferably a couple of years...”

Snake put a hand on her arm and said, “Sorry, I don't mean to rush things. I just really love you, so this is exciting; it gets me thinking about the future. I haven’t looked forward to seeing what’s next in a long time.”

“And I really love you too, so I hope you'll forgive me for this,” Lara replied slowly, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

Snake grew concerned. “For what?” he asked urgently.

“I was told last week that there’s a crew who need someone to help examine some Mongolian ruins in a few months... Four hands are better than two, so I signed you up to come with me. I know I should have asked you, but--”

“That sounds amazing! Of course I’ll come. I can’t think of anything better.” Snake couldn’t wait to be out adventuring with her again. But he realized that there was a new problem with this. “Wait, what about little, uh, Gorgonzola or whatever?”

Lara looked at the puppy and nodded. “He’s allowed to come too. I even heard his breed is good with exploring the outdoors. He might have time to learn some ways to help us all with our work before we leave.”

Sweeter words had never graced Snake’s ears. “I get to go Indiana Jones-ing with you _and_ a puppy? This is the best Christmas I've ever had in my life! I mean, last year I was in jail, so there’s not much to compete with, but STILL!!”

Lara chuckled quietly at his words, also visualizing the upcoming journey. “Let’s hope it only gets better from here, right?”

“Every day with you already is better and better! That could never change,” Snake said whole-heartedly. He pulled Lara close for a Christmas kiss, but something wiggly started pushing between them, looking for more attention after his power nap.

“I guess I have some competition now?” Lara joked, picking up their dog and giving him an adoring grin.

“Hey, I’ve got enough love for both of you,” Snake assured them, and got back to that interrupted kiss.

A lot had happened in the six months they had been together, more than they could ever have imagined when they first met. It was unexpected, but a blissful surprise. With every new shared experience, both Lara and Snake believed more and more that they couldn’t imagine spending their life with anybody else. She might have been a British lady and him an American hoodlum, but they were both explorers who needed some love and care. Who better to give it than each other?


	3. Unfinished Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara and Snake go back to Springfield to tie up his remaining loose ends. An unexpected loose end really upsets Lara and Snake has to deal with it. Also, Sideshow Bob is there.

"I miss Hermie already," Snake sighed, looking at a picture of his loyal dog in the front of his wallet.

"He's in good hands," his girlfriend, Lara, assured him, sitting next to him in the back of a cab. "Jonah loves him so much. He was so excited to have the opportunity when I told him we were going on a trip."

Snake shook his head and smiled, looking out the car window. "It feels weird to be back after, what, a year?"

"It feels like a hundred years, in the best way possible," Lara replied, gazing at her partner with adoration. They had met in Springfield the previous spring, and soon found themselves helplessly in love during summer. The next twelve months had been spent together at Lara's home in England and elsewhere abroad for work. Neither had been anywhere in America since they had impulsively left the Midwestern town together. Comparative to other things, a year wasn't very long. But in Lara's eyes, so much good had happened between them in that time that she could hardly imagine life without Snake anymore.

"I should have tied up all these loose ends before I left, but I wasn't going to miss my chance to go to London. Besides, some unfinished business can be fun. It fuels a man."

"That's awfully dramatic," Lara laughed. Snake had only come back to his hometown to take back some items he had left behind with a friend and spend some time doing anything else he couldn't finish in England. "...Where do you like it more, here or up in Surrey?" she asked, wondering what Snake was thinking about as he traveled through these familiar streets.

He grinned and put his hand on hers. “Wherever you are, baby.” Lara rolled her eyes in protest, but Snake didn’t change his answer. “It’s true!”

“Sheesh, can ya cut the mush?" the taxi driver groaned. "We're at your stop."

Lara looked at the unassuming house while taking their bags out of the trunk. “So, this is where ‘Bob’ lives?” It looked like a pretty normal American neighborhood, not revealing much about Snake’s mysterious friend.

“For now," Snake answered. "He tends to drift around town every once in a while."

Lara decided not to question why and just wait and see what this guy was like for herself. The couple stepped up the drive to knock on the door, only for it to open before they could even raise a fist.

A man with wild and curly red hair peered at them through narrowed eyelids, an amused expression lightly painted on his face. "Snake Jailbird," he lilted, hands folded behind his back. "It's good to see you again."

"Bob!" Snake cheered, slapping the other man on the arm in a friendly way.

Bob smiled tightly at the gesture and then turned to Lara. "And this must be your lady friend?"

"Yes, this is Lara. Lara, Sideshow Bob." 

"Pleasure to meet you," Lara said, resisting the urge to ask why this man was named "Sideshow."

"Ah, yes, the English girl," the stranger commented after hearing her voice, looking her up and down. "Hmm. Such wasted youth. Well, come on in." He stepped aside to let his visitors inside the abode, letting his enigmatic words linger with no answer.

"Thanks for keeping everything for me, Bob. I know it was short notice," Snake said gratefully.

"We all need friends who can bail us out, as it were. Save our fellow man from devastation. Anyone would hate to be in a Tosca situation, where the only escape is death."

Lara's eyes suddenly lit up in recognition. "Tosca, the Puccini opera?"

"You've heard of Tosca?" Bob asked, his interest in her now piqued.

"I've seen it, actually--"

"Gadzooks! Lara, I didn't have you pegged as a connoisseur of fine art such as myself. Color me impressed." He turned to address the other guest. "Snake, if you came here looking for my blessing, you have it! After all the gutter trash I’ve seen you with, this woman is pure class. You must stay together. Ah, I’m planning your wedding right now.”

“Wait!” Lara held out a hand urgently. “Thanks for the thought, but we’re not getting married.”

Snake looked rather concerned. “We’re not?”

“No!” Lara spoke more quietly as if the subject shouldn't be so publicly addressed, crossing her arms. “Not now! It’s a little soon! Besides, it doesn't seem necessary, and I’m not exactly keen on those stuffy ceremonies and fancy dresses...”

Her boyfriend shrugged. “I’d rather wear a suit than a dress, anyway--”

“Silence!” Sideshow Bob demanded. "I do not need to hear your petty squabbles. Marriage or not, I'm happy for you. You've stepped up your game."

Lara felt pretty awkward in all of this, but Snake looked proud of Bob's praises. He put an arm around her shoulder and swelled with pride. "She's the most intelligent woman I've ever known. Kind, strong, and beautiful too," he gushed.

Bob chose not to argue that his wife was better, because he really had gained respect for Lara with the very little she had said to him. "Your car is in the garage," he explained, gesturing in a vague direction. "All else is in the basement. I'd say you can stay as long as you'd like, but in all honesty, I'd prefer if you were no longer than a week."

"Hey, is your family here, dude?" Snake asked.

Sideshow Bob shook his head. "They're visiting relatives in Italy, and I hate small talking with in-laws. So you can stay in my son's room. My apologies if you cannot fit in his bed, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Anyway, I know we just started talking, but I must go prepare a charcuterie board to enjoy alongside my brooding and plotting tonight, so if you'll excuse me…" Sideshow Bob slipped away into another room.

"He's quite the character," Lara noted. She had to wonder if everyone in town was as unique as him and Snake. “How did you meet?”

“You know what? I don’t really remember. Probably prison.”

“Oh.”

"Hey, come on; let's go check out my stuff. Who knows what radical things I've forgotten?"

The pair found their way into Bob's rather chilling yet neat and classy basement to look through Snake's things. Lara enjoyed each story Snake told of his wilder days as he reminisced over each item. She had been rather harsh about his past life before, but was now trying to see it in a different light. If nothing else, his illegal schemes proved he could be quite clever and street smart.

"What are these?" she asked, finding a pair of interesting pants that looked too small for Snake.

"Counterfeit designers! We could totally still sell those--" Lara's expression quickly coerced him into changing the subject. "I mean, you can have them if you'd like."

After taking a closer look at the questionable trousers, Lara decided that she wouldn’t even wish them upon her enemies. “I’ll pass, thanks. I think this is one thing to definitely leave behind.”

It was getting late by the time they had finished looking through most of the things, so they stayed in to catch up with Bob over some fancy cheeses, each with a dedicated and well-thought pairing. The day had been a calm and peaceful start to their trip, a pleasant change from the usual routine of busy action. They squished together into a small bed and almost instantly fell asleep in each other’s comforting presence.

The next day dawned as sunny as ever over the town. Snake woke up with a smile on his face, only for it to fade when he realized Lara was no longer in his arms. He hoped she hadn't been kidnapped or secretly murdered, but believed that Bob would certainly have better security than for that to be possible. But in Springfield, anything could happen. Thankfully, his fears were quickly soothed by the sight of her downstairs at Sideshow Bob’s kitchen table, settled in with a laptop and notebook for some early morning research.

“Do you ever stop working?” Snake asked her, his smile returning at the sight of the focus on her face, eyes dark with intense thought. He teased, but he did love to see her like that. It always meant she was on the way towards a breakthrough.

Lara's expression transitioned into something lighter as he approached, her attention now torn. “Snake! Good morning." She gestured to what was before her and explained, "Some things were on my mind last night, and I had to get some answers."

"Did you find any?" Snake asked, stepping over to take a look. 

Lara shrugged. "A few."

"Well, I hope the rest can wait, because you and I have a breakfast date to attend to." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh really?" Lara asked, raising one of her own. "What's this about?"

“Well…” Snake reached over to close the computer. “We hop in Lil Bandit, go get some killer hashbrowns and pancakes, and then I take you on a personal private tour of the best parts of Springfield. How does that sound?”

“It sounds _perfect_ ,” Lara responded, looking forward to spending the day with her man even more than she looked forward to completing her research.

Snake put an arm around her shoulder and leaned in close. “Good, because I’m allllll yours today.” He was about to go in for a kiss, but stopped when he heard a clinking sound across the room. Sideshow Bob was in a robe and stirring some morning tea, looking at the couple with a neutral expression. Snake blinked and retracted himself away from Lara. “Uh, come on. Let’s go.”

“Enjoy your all-American breakfast,” Bob said enigmatically as the couple made their way out to Snake’s convertible. Lara gave him a sheepish smile and waved farewell.

Snake drove fast, but not fast enough for Lara to argue about his recklessness. It was clear that he knew every twist and turn of the streets like muscle memory, laughing joyfully alongside the purr of the motor. His happiness was infectious, and Lara was glad they were ferrying it back to England so he could enjoy his hobby regularly. It could be a bit dangerous, but it was better than pickpocketing.

Food at the diner was delicious, decidedly because it was unhealthy. But the conversation was splendid in every way, and so was the company. After spending almost two hours talking and enjoying the greasy food, they made their way back out into the sunny parking lot to drive off to their next adventure. ...Until something stood in their way.

"Snake! Where have you been for so long? Jail again? Oh, this must be your parole officer."

Snake's face grew pale as a dark-haired woman approached him. "Shoshanna!" he greeted, feigning pleasant surprise but audibly tense. “Didn’t expect to run into you here.”

"Who's this?" Lara asked, just interested to meet another one of Snake's friends and ignoring everything odd about the situation.

"I'm Snake's girlfriend," the woman scoffed. "And he really needs to learn how to make a phone call every once in a while! I haven’t seen you in forever."

"Totally, but I'm super busy right now. Maybe we’ll chat later?"

"What?!” the woman nearly spat in frustration. It's been forever, Snake. You need to make time for me."

Snake nodded with a forced smile. "That's nice, but we have some uber important plans, so… Buh-bye?” He began speed-walking past her, Lara in tow.

The other woman waved a fist and scowled. “You’re the worst boyfriend ever!” she shouted after him, sounding more annoyed than furious.

Lara was stiff with confusion, shock, and some sort of anger as Snake led her into the passenger seat of his convertible. She was silent while trying to form any coherent thoughts until she could finally say rather ungraciously, “Snake, what the hell was that?”

He immediately started driving, mostly as an excuse not to look her in the eye. “Uh, Shoshanna. My ex.”

“If she’s your ex, why did she say she’s your girlfriend?”

Snake groaned in frustration. “She’s _not_ my girlfriend anymore. I mean, we never officially broke up or anything, but--”

Lara’s jaw dropped. "You never broke up with her?! Then what position does that put me in?" she sputtered, feeling torn. On one hand, she was feeling a bit jealous that someone else saw themselves as Snake’s partner, and on the other, she felt like she was a shameful, no-good homewrecker.

He pulled his shoulders up defensively. "Obviously I want to be with you and not her! Don't be insecure about it. Come on, the choice is easy. You're way hotter than her," Snake tried to ease her worries.

"Snake, that's not a compliment!" Lara squeaked, not feeling eased at all. "This isn't about who you like more; you still should have ended things before starting something new. If I had known, I never would have gotten so close to you."

"By the time I met you, me and her were barely talking. I assumed we were completely done. I didn't want to be with her anymore."

"Then why didn't you say that to her just now?"

Snake hit the brakes a little harder than he usually did, a red light giving him an opportunity to look at Lara almost pleadingly. "Because you don't think that's awkward?! I thought I wouldn't see her again, let alone have her still think we're still an item. Especially since I'm dating someone else now."

It was a fair reason for anyone to give, although it would have been more wonderful to see Snake renounce Shoshanna and proudly proclaim himself as Lara's, and only Lara's... Well, even that fantasy was far from the reality she hoped for, where the situation wouldn't have had to happen in the first place. She didn't doubt Snake when he said he was over his ex; the way he loved her was enough evidence for her to believe that. "But you have to do it the right way," she told him. "Even if you stopped talking, she has a right to think you're together if you never said otherwise. And that essentially makes everything we have cheating, because she was first. So, talk to her. Please."

Snake bit his lip and shook his head. "Nah, I'm going ghost. We go back to London, and she'll eventually forget about me."

"Snake--"

"Look, can we just stop talking about it for now? We're only here for a few days. I want us both to enjoy it."

Lara huffily sat back in her seat and stayed quiet, defeated and upset. It felt like he should have cared more about how she was the one in the worst position in all of it, and it was all his fault in the first place.

Neither really felt like having fun anymore. Snake decided to do his paperwork errands instead, so they split off and decided to meet back in front of the bank in an hour. Lara walked around the neighborhood aimlessly the entire time, trying to calm herself down. She loved Snake, more than anything else, perhaps, but he was a magnet for trouble. She was too, she had to admit. It wasn't always a good mix.

They had both jumped into the relationship without much thought and had gotten plenty of trouble out of it. But they made it work, because there was this undeniable sense that they were perfect for each other. If only Snake was more willing to set things right to maintain it was true…

She'd get over it eventually. But for now, it still stung.

Snake's car was parked out front as she came to the meeting spot, though he wasn't inside the vehicle. Lara glanced around to see a glimpse of familiar bright blue jeans and silky brown hair through a small crowd of men in suits. Confused, she approached slowly to assess the situation.

Snake’s voice was heard as she got closer. “Dude, I’m totally not looking for trouble. You’ve got it way wrong.”

"Lil Jailbird's poking around Springfield again, eh? Youse definitely looking for trouble, my guy."

Another one of the other men spoke next. "Hey, he's welcome here! Cuz he's got a bounty on his head; we can make some use out of him," they finished sinisterly.

"Shouldn't have come here, little buddy. The Boss needs you out. Pity the police didn’t find you first.”

The mysterious men got closer to Snake, and the sounds of a small scuffle followed. Lara started jogging towards them, a sense of urgency coming over her as she heard Snake sound more and more distressed. They seemed to be trying to drag him away somewhere. To kidnap him? Kill him? She wasn’t going to wait and find out.

“Let him go!” Lara demanded, pulling at their shoulders to get past them to Snake.

“Get out of here, lady! This ain’t your business.”

Lara shoved through and defensively stood in front of Snake. "This IS my business. Keep your hands off of him."

One of the men sighed. "Listen, dame, you're in our way." He flicked a pocket knife open and pointed it at her. "Back off and you won't get hurt. We only want the gentleman. Don't make this any messier than it needs to be."

This was definitely a sticky situation. Even if Lara could possibly win a fight against one guy with a knife, she and Snake were outnumbered three-to-one. They'd have to find another way out of it--

"Oh, you did _not_!!" Snake growled before solidly punching the armed man in the face, making him topple over. Snake pointed a threatening finger down at him and spat, "You do NOT threaten my girlfriend, _bitch_!"

The rest of the mob just stared in shock for a moment. Lara took the opportunity to grab Snake's wrist and start running towards the car. "Give me your keys!" she asked, and Snake frantically tossed them to her. She let go of his arm and sprinted to the red convertible, starting it and reversing a few yards just in time for Snake to jump in and miss the reach of those chasing him.

For a few seconds, the well-dressed gang hopelessly watched their target speed away. “Don’t just stand there! Go after them!!” one of the thugs finally shouted, and they all scrambled to get into their own vehicles to follow the car.

Having just walked through this area right before, Lara had an idea of how to lose them. Barely secured without a seatbelt, Snake held on for dear life as she swerved through tight corners and narrow street. Within just a minute or two, they made it to a quieter part of town where they could hide out on an unassuming backroad. 

Lara looked behind them and listened closely for any sign that the group were still following them before finally releasing her white knuckles from the steering wheel. "I think they're gone."

Snake looked like he melted as he let all his tensed muscles relax. "Good riddance," he muttered, looking pretty shaken up underneath his remaining anger.

“Are you okay?” Lara asked, gently looking over him for any immediate sign of injury as best she could from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, they didn’t hurt me,” Snake assured, giving her a grateful glance as he tried to pull himself back together.

"Good.” Lara looked more relaxed with that information, but it didn’t last long. “Who was that?! What do they want from you?!” She seemed very troubled by the situation.

“The mob? Hell if I know!!” Snake wailed, still trying to calm his breathing. "That was way too grody… But wow, you can _drive_!” he laughed, staring at her in awe. Usually he drove fast to try and impress girls, but apparently it worked against himself as well.

Lara, however, was not so quick to brush off everything that had happened in favor of fangirling over one's significant other. “Snake, this is serious. Are we even safe here?”

“You’ve always gotten us out of danger,” he pointed out.

“Yes, but I hate to feel like I need to expect it when I just wanted a nice quiet trip with you."

"It's not like I can help it this time!"

"At the very least you could have helped it with that Shoshanna!"

Snake looked devastated. "You're still mad about that?" he asked, as if it hadn't only been an hour since it all happened.

She resisted the urge to hit the expensive steering wheel in frustration. "How would you feel if some man in London said he was my boyfriend and I just let him believe that right in front of you?" He didn't have an answer, so Lara glared at him before getting out of the driver's seat. "Just take me back to Bob's house. I've had enough of today."

Snake obliged the seat swap, but driving his favorite car didn't feel so fun anymore. They went back to the home in complete silence, Lara barely even looking at Snake anymore if she could help it.

He felt terrible, although he still thought he deserved a little more slack. He did what he had to avoid Shoshanna starting a serious fight with him, her, or both of them. They never had to see her again after then. Why did it matter?

Once they arrived at their destination, Lara grabbed the things she had left on the kitchen table and headed upstairs. "I'd prefer some time alone to work," she said when Snake tried to follow. His face drooped into a mess of sadness; all he could do was stand at the bottom of the steps and stare blankly.

Sideshow Bob watched from the sidelines, just one eye peeking over the top of the large book he was holding. He slowly closed the book with a satisfying thump, and said, “She doesn’t seem to be in a good mood.” Snake shook his head in agreement, so Bob invited him to take a seat and talk about it. “What happened? You didn’t drink a soft-boiled egg through a straw, did you?”

“No, gross! She’s just upset at something I did, I guess. Argument! Heh…” Bob quirked an eyebrow to prompt more explanation, and Snake told him the short story of what had happened outside the diner. “We hadn’t talked for a month beforehand. And she never called me for the whole year I was completely M.I.A. It’s not my fault if she didn’t get the hint we were over!” the brunette protested to his friend.

Bob tapped his fingers together thoughtfully. “This Shoshanna may be delusional, but there still is a responsibility to make an ending official. Just as there hasn’t been a new season of my favorite PBS series in years, but I still hold hope there will be more because they haven’t said otherwise.”

“Your comparisons are weird.”

Bob glared at Snake, but continued to give him some advice anyway. “Regardless, this isn’t a question of blame, but a willingness to set things right no matter who caused the problem. I may hardly know Lara, but she seems the type to prefer doing things the ‘right’ way. Ironically enough, because she’s dating _you_.”

“I don’t want to talk to Shoshanna, though! She's a loose cannon when she's upset. Reason number one of a hundred why I didn't want to be with her." Snake seemed to recall memories that disgusted him, evidenced by his twisted expression.

“Monsieur Jailbird, your love for your woman should be stronger than your fear of a cheap Springfield tramp hitting you with a fast-fashion purse uglier than herself. Would you not hurt yourself to heal Lara? I can't allow you to lose her over this; I need her in my social circle. She knows opera!!” Bob declared emphatically.

That last part was not a solid selling point. Still, Snake did tell Sideshow Bob he’d do his best to try to figure out how to fix everything. Bob even offered to try talking to Lara to ease her mind, though Snake wasn’t sure if the criminal would be so good at removing emotional stress instead of adding to it.

Snake really did want to set things right between him and Lara. He had messed up before, and each additional mistake felt like an additional nail in the coffin of an inevitable breakup. He had never been in a relationship that felt like "forever" before, but with Lara he wanted to make it so. Badly. Of course he would do everything he could to remove those nails before they finished their cruel work.

Lara had messed up in their relationship before as well. She made a few big decisions without talking it through with him first, and there had been a time or two when she had put her work above him when he felt he needed her the most. They argued about it before Hermie would seem to beg them to stop and just play with him instead. Lara did try her best to make up for it afterwards, even if she sometimes struggled to figure out what kind of present would comfort a man in his mid-thirties. But trying was enough, and Snake would try for her too.

The next morning, Lara made her way downstairs to find that she was seemingly alone in the house. It was an unusual feeling. She was used to Snake sleeping later than she did and hoped that her negative reactions the day before hadn’t chased him away, either temporarily or permanently. It was worrying to consider, so she tried to distract herself with the breakfast array that Sideshow Bob must have left out for them.

After a few minutes of her lonely meal, Snake suddenly came in from the side door. Both seemed too nervous to say hello, the couple only awkwardly meeting eyes over the top of a jam covered biscuit as Lara paused in taking a bite.

“...Good morning?” Snake timidly broke the silence.

“Good morning,” Lara breathed out as the tension broke a bit.

Snake stepped farther into the room to pull out one of the dining chairs and sit on it backwards. He crossed his arms on top of the back and leaned towards her to ask, “Hey, are we still dating?”

Lara set the biscuit down. "As far as I know. You haven't told me otherwise," she finished pointedly.

Snake resisted the urge to roll his eyes as she brought his ex up again, trying to be as heartfelt as possible. "Well, I'm glad you said that. Because I just broke up with Shoshanna, and I didn't want to be totally single."

"You did?" Lara was surprised; she hadn't expected him to change his mind about dealing with the situation.

Snake nodded solemnly. "It wasn't pretty, but I told her the truth: I thought it was obvious we were done, and I found someone else I'd rather be with. The best I could possibly get."

She felt a little bad that he made himself do that after Bob had tried to convince her to let it go last night. "You didn’t have to, Snake! I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of it--"

"No, I should have been more respectful of your feelings. I'm sorry. I had to be a man and make up for it. And I hope I did, because I love you too much to be okay with you hurting over it.”

Of course what he had done made Lara feel better. Even if it hadn’t, his soft apologetic expression was enough to melt her heart. “I love you too, Snake. Thank you.”

He smiled, and that made Lara smile. They smiled at each other like it was the first time all over again for a quiet, happy moment. Then Snake stood up and suggested, “Since we don’t have to worry about running into trouble anymore, how about we get back to that tour of Springfield I promised?”

“I would love that,” Lara agreed. However, exes weren’t the only trouble that remained in town. “But what if that mob shows up again?”

“Sideshow Bob has a drawer full of big knives. I’m sure he won’t mind if I borrow one or two just in case,” Snake said with a shrug. “Besides, I’m sure your mad escape skills helped scare them off.”

Whether that was true or not, fear wasn’t going to get in the way of them having fun together. Danger was pretty much a given wherever they went, and it was time to embrace it instead of letting their romance be held back. Especially since there weren’t any romantic rivals to get in the way anymore.

And so, Lara gave half of her biscuit to Snake before they ran off to see Snake's favorite local sights. Places filled with memories, the most impressive getaway locations, spots everyone in town adored, and anything else Snake was certain Lara would be entertained by. They even dared to go back to where they first met. It really was a charming place, albeit rather odd in different ways. She supposed the same could be said of Snake; like the city that had molded him, he was a diamond in the rough.

They were _both_ a little crazy. And maybe that made them perfect for each other. Of course they would stick together through the little missteps, because who else would?

As the stars were coming out and night gently spread over everything, Snake took Lara to one final place, a school. He showed her how to climb up to the roof from the outside, which gave them a wide-open area to look up at the dazzling canvas above them.

"Sorry to end the night on a less legal note, but this spot is too great for you to miss out on," Snake said, holding Lara's hand to guide her while her eyes were glued to the sky.

"To be honest, trespassing has always been something I'm good at anyway," she laughed. "Criminal activity is a small price for this gorgeous view."

Constellations were as clear to see as if they were in a cartoon, a vast and quiet sea above the still busy street below. They laid down on the roof, still a bit warm from the sun, and let it take over their view. It felt surreal to look up at something so endless while still grounded by the sounds of vehicles and people not too far away.

“It’s a really nice town. A shame we’re leaving already tomorrow,” Lara sighed, although she was finally starting to feel like Croft Manor was a true home now that she lived there again with someone she loved. It would be good to be back there and reunited with their dog.

“There’s no place like Springfield,” Snake agreed.

“Do you miss it?”

"Sometimes I do," Snake admitted, "because it's so familiar. But I also like seeing all these new things in the rest of the world with you. I've already seen all there is to see here, y’know. Every hidden corner, inside plenty of homes, each historical landmark, the mummies--"

"The _mummies_?!" Lara asked in surprise, sitting upright.

"The Springfield mummies, of course! Deep underground in an old spooky crypt."

"That's impossible! The only mummies that have been found in North America were in the west, weren't they? How have I never heard about this?" Lara was confused, wondering what histories she had missed out on in her vast studies. …But she then saw the mischief in Snake's blue eyes. "You're joking, aren't you? Dammit, Snake! I believed you!" she laughed, shaking her head in disappointment. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist! I’m sure I’m pushing the envelope here when it comes to you putting up with me, though. Guess I better take it easy."

Lara’s laughter faded, quietly responding, “No, I think it’s you who puts up with me. I’m the worst person to be with, I’m sure.”

"What are you talking about? You're amazing."

Lara shook her head, lying back down. "I don't know how to be much of a good friend, let alone a girlfriend. I'm making it all up as I go along, and I know it's been rough in spots."

"Who cares if it's not perfect?" Snake put his hand on hers. "Being with you has been the time of my life. You make me so unbelievably happy. I wouldn't trade what we have for anything else, ever."

Lara wrapped her fingers around his in agreement. "It's hard for me to believe anything is permanent. But I've been so happy this past year… I'm scared of things changing," she confessed quietly.

Snake turned away from the stars to look at her. She seemed almost fragile in that moment, so small compared to the world around her. It was strange, as he was so used to seeing her confidently capable and strong. But emotions were sometimes scarier than death traps, and their visit hadn't held back when it came to making them feel uncomfortable feelings. So he decided to offer a distraction. "Hey, let's go somewhere with mummies next.”

She immediately seemed to perk up a bit. "Yeah? Where?"

"There have gotta be some in England. Right? We'll even invite Roth if he's around."

Lara laughed. "Just because he's getting softer on you doesn't mean he'd be willing to go on an entire trip with you, Snake.” She paused before adding, “But going somewhere with you both would be nice. We should do it."

"There we go, the next adventure's decided. Now we just need the perfect end to this one."

"What, do you have one more grand plan before we leave tomorrow? It's hard to beat everything you've done today," Lara pointed out, unsure what there was left to do in Springfield after they'd already seen so much together.

Snake smirked, moving to rest on his elbows. "The grandiose can be nice, but sometimes you've got to keep it simple. There's just one small thing I request to make the end of this time perfect."

"Yes?" Lara prompted.

"Can I kiss you?"

She couldn't hide a surprised smile, undeniably a thousand times more enamored with him than when she first dared to kiss his cheek over a year ago. Snake had proved himself an understanding and caring partner, even through all the ups and downs. Through time, she found herself drawn to him ever more and more. Filled with sudden anticipation, she answered wholeheartedly, "Yes, I would like that. Very much."

Snake almost giggled with delight as he scooped Lara into his arms and sealed the deal. It didn't matter how many times they had kissed before; each felt as magical as the last. But as nice as it was, Lara gently tapped his side to signal they should stop after just a few quick seconds. 

“Okay, kissing here is a little strange, though,” she pointed out as they moved apart. A car at the nearby intersection honked as if to prove her point. While they were high and away from anyone’s view, it didn’t feel truly private. The hard concrete roof beneath them hardly set a romantic mood either.

"Like Bob's house is any better?" Snake almost whined, his gaze intently tracing the shape of her lips. “I don't need him breathing down my neck while I’m canoodling yours.”

"Oh god," Lara laughed as she blushed slightly. "You're always so forward. I didn't know _that_ was part of your plan."

"It should be in every plan. I love the way I can make you feel so much with so little," he said almost tauntingly in a low voice, one hand moving up her back to hold the nape of her neck.

Lara couldn't deny that devilish smile and light touch of his was a dangerous combination that she found hard to resist. Snake had always been so delicate with her, a stark contrast to how strong and rough he could be with everyone else. It felt so protective and loving, and she craved more.

“A minute,” she gave in breathlessly. “I think maybe a minute here wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Thanks for indulging me. I’ll make it worth your while,” he promised, pulling her closer once more to meet lips. As everything around them faded away to their bliss, Lara knew Snake had been right; it really was the perfect way to end the chaotic weekend.

Neither had enough spare attention to keep track of the time, but eventually they reluctantly surrendered the moment and drove back to Sideshow Bob’s house to end the day. They couldn’t help but still cling to each other's side as they headed up to sleep, stealing quick kisses as they passed by their host in the living room whenever they thought he might not be looking. Bob did see, however, and he found it amusing. They were an unlikely-seeming couple--a well-mannered tomboy with a biker-looking thug--, yet they were clearly deeply in love. They were oozing with chemistry despite having been deep in argument just twenty-four hours prior.

Bob was so fascinated, in fact, that he felt like he had to ask Lara about it the next morning before the pair started their journey back to England. “Say, why did you and Snake start a relationship? Not many people see anything in him.” He’d witnessed Snake make his way through numerous break-ups in the time they’d been friends.

Lara hummed in thought for a moment, watching through the window as Snake tried to cram a suitcase into the trunk of his car. "I can't really say why I fell for him; it caught even me off guard. …His intelligence, I suppose. He's an amazing archaeologist."

Bob nodded thoughtfully, tapping his fingertips together. "I never thought he'd end up with someone like you. And I mean that in a good way, even if I still find it hard to believe."

"It was quite sudden," Lara agreed. "And far from easy. But to be terribly cliché, I wonder if we were made for each other. I can't imagine anyone else putting up with the inane things we each do. He’s done so much for me… I hope I can do the same for him.”

"I guarantee you've changed his life, Miss Croft. I've never seen him with such a sense of purpose." He pointed a dramatic finger upwards and added with a smirk, "There is nothing sweeter in life than a mutually beneficial relationship. Except revenge, of course."

Lara smiled and nodded politely, a bit concerned by his words but glad that he seemed happy for them. His words did seem true; likewise, Lara felt more grounded with Snake in her life.

Her boyfriend came back into the house and let her know that everything had been successfully packed up. "Thanks again for keeping all this stuff and letting us stay here," he told Bob. "We'll have to visit again sometime."

The older man offered a small grin. "Yes, a more relaxed visit would indeed be pleasurable. In the meantime, if you have any more issues, call me. I'd be happy to offer my experienced advice."

Snake looked down at Lara with a sparkle in his eye. "I think we'll be fine for a good long time." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze in appreciation. 

They finished their farewells to Sideshow Bob and hopped into Lil Bandit to begin the trip back to their own home. A drive was a nice change of pace from the usual airplane rides.

"The ferry's in Boston, isn't it? I forget how far that is from here," Lara said, 

Snake shrugged. "Oh, a thousand miles, give or take. It'll take a day or two."

His answer surprised her. "A thousand miles?! America is far too large. What could you possibly need all this land for?"

"There’s more of a chance a judgy Brit will show up in any given town," Snake answered, to which Lara laughed.

“Fair enough. I guess it worked out in your favor.”

He raised a smug eyebrow. “I got the best there is,” he adoringly agreed. "But if you hate long drives, I don't mind speeding up the process." He revved the engine, which automatically seemed to brighten his mood even more. Lara knew that life back near London was about to become a lot more fun for him with the convertible, and consequently for her as well.

More importantly, their relationship seemed to have strengthened a bit thanks to the unexpected ordeals Springfield had put them through. Everything was perfectly wrapped up back in America, leaving room in their second year together to continue becoming the kind of family she’d always hoped for back at the manor.


End file.
